office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
