I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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