How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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