ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Houston, we have a blender
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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