If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
