Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
