Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you made out with another girl for some wings
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
