I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
