You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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