she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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