So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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