I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Found your dick twin last night
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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