would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
