Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
