If you die in college, do you die in real life?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
