everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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