just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
