apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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