I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
