i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
