i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
