Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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