So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
that is very illegal...i love you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
