Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
