I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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