Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
