Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
