It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
