Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
