hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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