I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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