Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
