Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
