what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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