He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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