my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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