we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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