Michael Bay diarrhea
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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