You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
