i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
