Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
