Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
