If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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