You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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