sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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