is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
