My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
