I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Congratulations! We have a period
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