wanna go halves on a baby?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
