it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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