glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
